When Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live with in North Carolina

There are many urban myths in family law, and whether a child can choose which parent to live with is one of the most persistent matters in a divorce.

A child’s best interests are the primary focus of North Carolina family law and there is no specific age for a child’s right to choose. As a result, it is not accurate to say that when a child reaches 12 years old they will have the right to choose which parent to live with. North Carolina custody law accounts for a child’s opinion no matter the age.

Split Custody Schedules

Most divorces have children spending split time with each of their parents. With some creativity, there are many ways to create a schedule that maximizes quality time with each parent. Often, what works when a child is in elementary school may not work in middle school or high school.

The biggest issues cited when a child expresses that they would prefer to spend more time with a particular parent involve access to electronics, cars, supervision of homework, and extracurricular activities (sports). One parent may place more weight on homework and grades, while the other parent may feel that sports and extracurriculars are more important. There isn’t any right or wrong approach and ultimately depends on the needs of the child.

Custody Schedules for Children Above The Age of 16

By the time a child begins to drive, visitation schedules often go by the wayside. The teen can spend time with either parent or instead use that time for personal relationships. Both parents usually experience a loss of control of their child’s schedule and unequal time with each parent could occur. Parents should practice the best possible communication with each other, keeping the child’s best interests top of mind.

Parents may not always agree with each other over punishments for broken rules in one or the other household. If both parents cannot agree on a single approach, each household should be consistent in what is or is not acceptable behavior, and what are appropriate punishments.

There are always cases in which your child may begin to go down paths that might lead to harm. Drugs, sex, and risky behavior are best addressed with a unified front from both households. However, filing a lawsuit is not always the best way to address these issues. It isn’t always possible for both parents to agree on a course of action.

We Can Help

Divorce matters are important and often require the assistance of an experienced family law attorney to ensure that the needs of the children and parents are properly considered. If you need legal assistance, contact Lundell Law Firm for more information and to discuss a strategy for pursuing your divorce or child custody matter. You can reach an attorney by calling (704) 288-4096, or by completing our contact form. We offer flexible payments without compromising our level of service.

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